975 W John Carpenter Fwy
Irving, TX 75039
(214) 302-2681

Smashburger is like a movie that you’ve seen before and recognize as having a plot similar to a ripoff of a remake of a great original concept. The novelty of a Smashburger lasted only 5 seconds, then I realized I’ve made a much better burger with modest production values and a smaller budget in my own kitchen.

I spied this newest location on my way to a nearby restaurant and ducked in for a menu. I had Smashburger on my wishlist to try out for to-go and when the time came, I was almost surprised but largely disappointed.

Almost surprised to see that care went into their to-go packaging. I had to give them points for dispensing with paper bags and styrofoam and approved the use of cartons. However, any lead that Smashburger gained in the packaging department disappeared in the taste category.

Largely disappointing: for someone who likes fries with their sodium chloride, I found the Smashburger too salty and too dry (i.e. overcooked). In stark contrast I found their sides (fries and onion rings) strangely bland (and not travel-worthy). I applauded the option of VeggieFrites (I like asparagus)…though no less healthier than their other fried goods. One glaring omission was the sweet potato fries which had been billed on our receipt but was nowhere to be found.

I really wanted to like Smashburger; but the disappointing food, the steep price and the “newbie” ordering mistake means that we are unlikely to give this blockbuster bomb another review.

6440 N MacArthur Blvd Ste 110
Irving, TX 75039
(972) 409-7230

If one measured a burger’s success based on the number of banners, citations and awards wallpapering their dining room wall, then Five Guys Burgers and Fries must be the king of all burgers.

Mark Five Guys as another of those self-absorbed, gourmet burger-ants that’s been taking the media by storm lately. But don’t write them off completely.

Once you make it past the self-validation screaming at you from every wall in the house (it doesn’t help that Five Guys is done up in fire engine red and enamel white), you approach the register and deliver your order to the folks behind the counter, then shuffle over to a table while you wait for your food–sound familiar? Nothing new here, except that you get to snack on dry roasted shelled peanuts (not a place for those with peanut allergies) while you wait.

And still you wait when you order your food online…’coz Five Guys proudly declares their fries aren’t cooked until you get there. As painless as the online ordering process was, I found this aspect flawed. Isn’t the whole point of “ordering ahead” supposed to be “less waiting”?

However, Five Guys can be easily forgiven if judged on fries alone. I found their Cajun-seasoned fries snack-alicious–dangerous when you’re driving home, and depressing when you arrive home and discovered that you’ve snarfed down every fry in the bag–even the strays that sank to the bottom. Yes, those fries travel extremely well–if they make it home with you at all.

But a burger joint must be judged on the merit of their burgers–not their sides–and Five Guys does a passable job delivering a meaty burger. Their normal, double-patty burger is a hefty one (somewhat reminiscent of Kincaids, actually), though it suffers a little from the dryness of a “medium well-done” temperature that most places will cook to. However, I am a fan of the “one-price, any topping” concept here. With the exception of bacon and some cheeses, you can have your burger dressed in a variety of ways for the same flat price as a burger with all the fixins or plain ol’ patties sandwiched between two buns.

About those buns: on many occasions the bread threatened to fall apart with every bite. Something so flimsy shouldn’t be bookending such a beefy burger…I hope they rectify this soon.

So aside from some service snafus (mostly the long waits), Five Guys serves up a decent burger and better-than-average fries. On my burgers-to-go list, they are tops. Three point five stars when they get everything right.

1208 E Belt Line Rd
Carrollton, TX 75006
(972) 245-4621

I remember when the current space occupied by Burger Island was a Thai restaurant, then several incarnations of a Mexican eatery. So I didn’t expect upper-class digs in this small, almost-rundown little joint.

Which is always a good sign of genuinely greasy diner-style burger. I’ve heard my coworkers rave about their portions…and they weren’t kidding when it came to Burger Island sides. Every takeout order came home in boxes brimming with sides.

For the first visit, I tried Burger Island for their signature Jungle Burger. A nice, thin-patty two-hander loaded with toppings and barbecue sauce. I gave the burger high marks for being tasty and messy, even though it wasn’t my typical preparation. Unfortunately, none of their fried foods traveled well–from their onion rings to their jalapeno straws (Texas Toothpicks). The sheer volume of the side orders were daunting enough, without factoring in the sogginess.

On another visit, I sampled their bacon mushroom burger which again proved a tasty, oozy mess. Once again the onion rings failed to live up to the 15 minute journey, and the seasoned fries–while uniquely tasty–also came home soggy. The fiance tried their philly sandwich and gave it an above-average mark, rare for a Philly connoisseur.

I’d have to say for the price, Burger Island rates higher than some of the “gourmet burger” stops and is worth repeat visits.

449 W Bethel Rd
Coppell, TX 75019
(972) 462-0101

The Coppell Deli’s claim to fame is the Stubbs breakfast sandwich–and they count the Dallas Cowboys as their biggest fans. The fiance and I however took aim at their burger menu…and in this we weren’t disappointed.

My bacon mushroom swiss was a 1/2 pounder, tall and bristling with bacon, and loaded up with lots of onions upon request. I found their choice of white onions strangely bland and faulted their use of tiny styrofoam boxes to carry their burger. Maybe they were highlighting the size of their sandwich by cramming it into a tiny space–whatever! Those styrofoam boxes are so 80s.

The fiance partook of the double cheeseburger and found it satisfying. We both thought that the pouch-sized fries however were on the bland side and could have used more seasoning. However the overall damage came to $22 and I thought the price too steep for the average result. We might give the Deli another try minus other side options.

100 N Kimball Ave
Southlake, TX 76092
(817) 416-2573

We came to Kincaid’s with high expectations–and walked away idly wondering what the fuss was all about. We expected greatness and found mediocrity.

Two things Kincaid’s had going for it–a thick burger patty and a nice chocolate milkshake. While it’s nice to bite into a hefty burger–measuring a thumb’s width by my reckoning–I wished I could have ordered it medium-rare, which wasn’t an option. Sadly, the burgers were lacking in flavor and ooze-factor–no greasy burger here, just dry over-cooked meat whose flaws were heightened by the mustard dressing. Even the crinkle-cut fries and the Blue Bell ice cream milkshake appeared standard fare, nothing truly spectacular. And let me say that I could have gotten better onion rings at Burger King–Kincaid’s rings were battered to death and devoid of flavor. The little container of ranch dressing couldn’t rescue them from oblivion.

Walking into the Southlake location reminded me too much of a Mooyah’s or a Fuddrucker’s. Everything in Kincaid’s was too clean, too neat–and dare I say it–too formulaic for a unique burger experience. I can attest that Kincaid’s isn’t gourmet enough for the Southlake neighborhood. Perhaps we’ll visit the original location someday, but we’ll definitely steer clear of this outpost.