Yeah, I’m a nerd. And I work out to polka music (sometimes)…and why not, it’s got a fast beat, try pumping iron at this tempo.

http://youtu.be/TRd_pUwRX6Q

I changed my profile content and goals yesterday. As I stare at that new goal, I believe that I’ve matured enough in this journey to realize that some things on my previous wish list were superficial things, i.e. the tangibles. That is not to say that they were meaningless fantasies or gestures; rather, they only represented the most outward appearance of what I was ultimately trying to achieve and just recently figured out.

I think that I’ve arrived at this ONE thing that has made this journey more acceptable, and in more ways pleasant and enjoyable. I’ve become more aware of the types of food that I feed my body, and the amount of food that it takes to fuel it. It’s also not as easy to shirk off planned exercise. It helps to stay accountable for my evening walks (low level cardio) when my man and dogs are accompanying me. The spirit of competition also keeps me moving, exercising–especially when all my MFP pals are doing something to change their lives, posting their progress every step along the way. The general sense of well-being, of alertness, of “being present” that I get with this new lifestyle is a very desirable, very energizing feeling that it’s difficult to accept that there was a time when everyday living was an impersonal blur (especially when I slip off that wagon). There’s a very real sense of existence nowadays, rather than plain subsistence.

 “It is never too late to be what you might have been”.

While I lament that it’s taken me 2 years to get to this point, I feel guilty that it took half a lifetime to grasp above. I never realized how weak I was before life demanded strength of me. And when the demands were made of me, I nearly failed so utterly without realizing it was my weakness dragging me down. I count it a victory that I’ve recognized the need for change, even if it is later than life than I wanted. I count myself lucky that I arrived at this realization.

I’ve made changes to aid me in my success: building a social network of supporters, logging my data in MFP and other sites, getting an HRM, installing health and fitness apps, reading and researching all the info on the world wide web that I can get my hands on to ensure my health and fitness. The more I gather data, the more I realize how much there is yet to learn. Thankfully, it is this influx of learning that keeps me engaged and vested in my future. Not to mention all the new fitness toys that I can lay my paws on.

Some people change because it’s the difference between life and death; some people do it because they want to be with loved ones as long as life permits.

Me: I want to find out my true potential…who I could be, the best version of me that can possibly be. It’s the stranger in a future mirror that is staring back at me, beckoning…and it’s so exciting to meet somebody new. That future somebody who is me.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” 

My work team is entering the final stretch of a global initiative to get the company moving, with fitness and healthfulness the end goal. In my previous three weeks, I’ve managed to ramp up my overall steps to above 10k weekly average, progressing each week. I hope to top that number in my final week, but it’s been a slow start so far.

10k steps is a good 3 miles’ walk a day–and a challenge if your butt has never managed to walk any farther than a quick trip to the coffee machine or water cooler. On alternate days, it turns into an endurance test whether it be a brisk jog or run or burst-chasing the pups in the dog park. I’ve had to pick up a new app, new clothes and new shoes to keep up with the daily walks–because frankly, not having the right equipment HURTS! I have noticed an improved quality in my stride after picking up new shoes–my previous running Skechers developed a huge crack along both soles.  A new running wardrobe to wick away the summer sweat also makes daytime walking literally a breeze!

The one huge positive in all this is that my appetite has stayed mostly in check and I’ve succeeded in dropping a few pounds–which supports the adage that diet is 80% of weight loss. I’ve noticed that the steps are also resulting in stronger, albeit much more sore, legs–I wish that my tape measurements would reflect progress, but I suspect that significant changes won’t be evident until I drop to 130lbs.

All of this walking comes with a downside; I haven’t been consistent with my strength training or weightlifting, and my body recomp goals are on a perma-hold status until I can strike a balance between the low-level cardio and heavy lifting. One constant sore reminder is that I still haven’t procured a squat rack for my home gym, which limits the weights I’ve been able to do. I haven’t properly kicked myself in the butt when it comes to pushups either; I manage to hit my goals only once or twice a week, far less than the every day schedule I had planned.

The most important thing I’ve learned on my fitness journey–and it’s been 2.5 years getting here–is that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to getting fit and healthy. I have learned a LOT about what works for my body–I’ve read tons of resources directing me what’s the best way to lose weight, get fit, become a better person, but ultimately found a lot  of “BAD” and “OUTDATED” advice out there.

Realistically, the best program is one that I can stick with–for life!…and that is currently a work in progress.

Hope all my MFP pals find what works for them. 

It’s not a fantastic end to a promising challenge. I got nowhere close to achieving the goals I set out for myself. 

I have friends and coworkers participating in health and fitness challenges who have made significant progress with their weight and well-being. I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to them, but I look at the scale and scope of my challenge and I can’t help but draw parallels: I really don’t have as much weight to lose or more ground to cover when it comes to regular exercise. I feel I’m better shape than my competitors–but by golly, it’s so much harder when one gets closer to their goals.

As I suspected, my diet continues to undermine my progress. I slip up way too often, giving myself permission to consume foods and snacks that hinder me. The sugar fiend haunts me on a regular basis; my tastebuds daydream of sugary desserts (blast you carrot cake) and it is so hard to break away from this addiction.

My expectations of course are also out of alignment; I’m still desirous of the quick fix–winning the sprint–when I’m really running a marathon. The new pullup bands I ordered has maybe seen activity only once a week since I purchased them. And the 100 pushups a day–there was always some excuse not to do them daily. I even bought a new 25lb kettlebell, but after a few workouts to failure, the DOMS kept me sidelined until I promptly forgot about them.

I really wanted to get more barbell lifting done, but the lack of space and a squat rack really limited me from doing it regularly. What a string of excuses I’ve come up with.

A few weeks ago, I got sucked back into PC gaming, which set me back onto a pattern of too much sitting and not enough sleeping (along with unhealthy snacking and less exercise). I can feel it so much more plainly nowadays when I didn’t get enough rest/recharge time.  

Some things have gone right, however. 

• I’m tracking my vitals more regularly 
• I’ve been walking about 8000+ average steps a day
• I taken the dogs out for walks nearly every day
• I’ve also been regularly taking my BP pills
• I participate in workplace fitness challenges
• I pre-cook most of my meals on the weekends
• I spent more time outdoors lately (even with the warmer weather)
• I am more “aware” of how I physically feel

I realize that stressful situations at work and home lowered my willpower. I have to regain control of these things so that I don’t self-sabotage myself. 

Reflecting upon the past challenge I noticed how some experiments rubber-banded: snapping back to the starting point every time I stretched. It’s as if the idea of a ceiling is causing me to under-perform. I have read that smaller goals are achievable than large ones; but maybe those are too easy because I bore easily. 

With the long summer looming ahead, I’ve been toying with the idea of getting back into the gym setting, except that I’ve already started investing in my own home gym–it would be silly to throw that money away. 

There are a few sure bets (goals) that I do want to achieve, to want, to have right now:

• A stronger, more muscular top half
• Continue to belt out 8000+ steps a day

 Things on my wishlist that continue to confound me:

 Dropping 20lbs and getting lean

• Seeing my abs (and getting lean)
• Sticking to a meal plan consistently (not cave to temptation so much)
• Doing 100 pushups a day
• Doing unassisted chinups/pullups

This is late in the writing, but I have to apologize. I strayed off course and got derailed several times in the past week. Inactivity and poor food decisions have led to a backpedaling on my health goals, particularly my weight. And this has made me angry and sad all at once; self-sabotage is an all-too frequent evil nasty associate when we attempt challenging makeovers.

I keep harkening back to last year when I reached a milestone, hitting a goal weight of 135lbs. All I do now is replay that glory in my head, thinking I can make it back there–no sweat.

But the reality is that it took some doing, it took effort and not some fly-by-the-seat planning. I didn’t just leave it up to fate and whim to decide my daily exercise and meal plans; I made sure to map out my actions, mentally prepare myself, and stick to my goals. The fact that I had an objective (Xmas party dress) helped shape my plans and decisions, even though I didn’t actually succeed. I got farther than I’d ever have, and that in itself was an accomplishment.

I’m in a rotten mood; a coworker publicly announced that he would help me achieve a pull-up by my b-day–in 3 days time. I am NOT thrilled that he said that in front of some other folks who had no business knowing when my b-day would be–and it is of course a sore reminder of how much this first quarter of the year has not gone according to my wishes.

I got a pedometer last week. I purchased some pull-up straps yesterday. I have no excuses about the weather lately–it’s been beautiful outside. All I lack now is the willpower to stay on course. 

• 30 minutes exercise daily
• 100 push ups a day
• 10000 steps 
• walk the dogs 

I have to remind myself this is not about dredging up the willpower to do these things; it’s about transforming them into lifelong habits that have tangible benefits.