This is late in the writing, but I have to apologize. I strayed off course and got derailed several times in the past week. Inactivity and poor food decisions have led to a backpedaling on my health goals, particularly my weight. And this has made me angry and sad all at once; self-sabotage is an all-too frequent evil nasty associate when we attempt challenging makeovers.

I keep harkening back to last year when I reached a milestone, hitting a goal weight of 135lbs. All I do now is replay that glory in my head, thinking I can make it back there–no sweat.

But the reality is that it took some doing, it took effort and not some fly-by-the-seat planning. I didn’t just leave it up to fate and whim to decide my daily exercise and meal plans; I made sure to map out my actions, mentally prepare myself, and stick to my goals. The fact that I had an objective (Xmas party dress) helped shape my plans and decisions, even though I didn’t actually succeed. I got farther than I’d ever have, and that in itself was an accomplishment.

I’m in a rotten mood; a coworker publicly announced that he would help me achieve a pull-up by my b-day–in 3 days time. I am NOT thrilled that he said that in front of some other folks who had no business knowing when my b-day would be–and it is of course a sore reminder of how much this first quarter of the year has not gone according to my wishes.

I got a pedometer last week. I purchased some pull-up straps yesterday. I have no excuses about the weather lately–it’s been beautiful outside. All I lack now is the willpower to stay on course. 

• 30 minutes exercise daily
• 100 push ups a day
• 10000 steps 
• walk the dogs 

I have to remind myself this is not about dredging up the willpower to do these things; it’s about transforming them into lifelong habits that have tangible benefits.

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