It’s not a fantastic end to a promising challenge. I got nowhere close to achieving the goals I set out for myself. 

I have friends and coworkers participating in health and fitness challenges who have made significant progress with their weight and well-being. I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to them, but I look at the scale and scope of my challenge and I can’t help but draw parallels: I really don’t have as much weight to lose or more ground to cover when it comes to regular exercise. I feel I’m better shape than my competitors–but by golly, it’s so much harder when one gets closer to their goals.

As I suspected, my diet continues to undermine my progress. I slip up way too often, giving myself permission to consume foods and snacks that hinder me. The sugar fiend haunts me on a regular basis; my tastebuds daydream of sugary desserts (blast you carrot cake) and it is so hard to break away from this addiction.

My expectations of course are also out of alignment; I’m still desirous of the quick fix–winning the sprint–when I’m really running a marathon. The new pullup bands I ordered has maybe seen activity only once a week since I purchased them. And the 100 pushups a day–there was always some excuse not to do them daily. I even bought a new 25lb kettlebell, but after a few workouts to failure, the DOMS kept me sidelined until I promptly forgot about them.

I really wanted to get more barbell lifting done, but the lack of space and a squat rack really limited me from doing it regularly. What a string of excuses I’ve come up with.

A few weeks ago, I got sucked back into PC gaming, which set me back onto a pattern of too much sitting and not enough sleeping (along with unhealthy snacking and less exercise). I can feel it so much more plainly nowadays when I didn’t get enough rest/recharge time.  

Some things have gone right, however. 

• I’m tracking my vitals more regularly 
• I’ve been walking about 8000+ average steps a day
• I taken the dogs out for walks nearly every day
• I’ve also been regularly taking my BP pills
• I participate in workplace fitness challenges
• I pre-cook most of my meals on the weekends
• I spent more time outdoors lately (even with the warmer weather)
• I am more “aware” of how I physically feel

I realize that stressful situations at work and home lowered my willpower. I have to regain control of these things so that I don’t self-sabotage myself. 

Reflecting upon the past challenge I noticed how some experiments rubber-banded: snapping back to the starting point every time I stretched. It’s as if the idea of a ceiling is causing me to under-perform. I have read that smaller goals are achievable than large ones; but maybe those are too easy because I bore easily. 

With the long summer looming ahead, I’ve been toying with the idea of getting back into the gym setting, except that I’ve already started investing in my own home gym–it would be silly to throw that money away. 

There are a few sure bets (goals) that I do want to achieve, to want, to have right now:

• A stronger, more muscular top half
• Continue to belt out 8000+ steps a day

 Things on my wishlist that continue to confound me:

 Dropping 20lbs and getting lean

• Seeing my abs (and getting lean)
• Sticking to a meal plan consistently (not cave to temptation so much)
• Doing 100 pushups a day
• Doing unassisted chinups/pullups