I missed blogging a post for August…a sure sign that I’ve just been wrapped up so much with work and life. I apologize to my MFP buddies for not checking in with them for the past several weeks.

Along with this comes the regret of not holding myself accountable for staying on course with diet and exercise.

Yes, things got really busy at work when coworkers left or got laid off and I had to take on extra responsibility. Yes, I got really stressed out when frightened people afraid of losing their jobs kept begging at my door for somebody to listen to their problems. Yes, I was frustrated by a remote coworker’s attempts to micro-manage me. Yes, there are big changes brewing at my workplace and the tension is driving me batty. Yes, we had to undergo a major audit in which I was a major participant. Yes, I came down with a bug that made me lose my voice, but I still had to attend several sales teleconferences. Yes, my future father-in-law passed away unexpectedly and I never got to meet him. Yes, we attempted to make funeral arrangements remotely, but family drama kept getting in the way. Yes, my fiance is grieving and I have no way to comfort him or deal with his moods. Yes, I fell off the wagon for nearly two weeks and what a pain it is to get back to good habits… somaybeishouldjustcampmyassinfrontofthetvandeatjunkfoodallday.

I am acutely aware that all of these things were excuses, or precursors to excuses. At different points and times, I made a decision to derail myself because of what happened. I set aside my own requirements and priorities because the situations were reasons I justified for not taking care of myself. And in failing to provide for myself, I undermined my own attempts to be a supportive, understanding and productive person.

I know that when I eat better, sleep more, exercise daily, I am a better version of me than that other me that’s chowing down on junk food resulting in frequent mood swings and an unhappy tummy, gets cranky and inattentive due to lack of sleep, and feels stressed from a lack of exercise. 

I realize my experiences in August could have been a lot better had I only stayed loyal to myself. I might have been a better supporter, worker, fiancee, etc. by standing firmly by my convictions instead of compromising at every setback.

I need to remember that in order to face tomorrow’s challenges, I must prepare myself by staying true to the things that keep me strong and flexible.

We all experience seasons when our plates have become too full, but the best way to manage them is not by reaching out and adding more onto that plate. We can neither help ourselves or others when we self-sabotage.

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