Burger Texas-sized Shootout

So begins a journey to search out the best burgers in Dallas. First stops: Jake’s and Twisted Root.

Twisted Root Burger Co

730 E. Campbell Road, Suite 330
Richardson, TX 75081

Walking into Twisted Root is like walking into a stadium filled with a football-crazy crowd: loud and obnoxious. So it was walking into Twisted Root on a Saturday afternoon past 1pm. The place was annoyingly packed…standing room only, unless one managed to find a clean table outside on the patio in the hot August sun. No thanks!

This place has attitude…though I’m not sure I care particularly for it. Their site wants to convince you that they are serious about their burgers so they pretty much do not allow any call-in takeout orders on their specialty burgers. Say whut?

I had no intention of waiting on a seat since a table was unlikely to come up while we waited…and I mistrusted the “self-bus” rule that presided in the dining area, so we ordered takeout at the register. The cashier gave us the evil eye…apparently takeout was considered a sin, even after I piled on a second order of sides to go with our burgers. (Hell lady, if you wanted us to eat there, maybe more booths…and clean ones at that?)

So the fiance and I stood there at the counter waiting for our “takeout” orders. I got a clear line-of-sight on the kitchen. Burger patties covered the grill while the cook and his crew furiously tried to sort out the orders…and suddenly I wasn’t very impressed. My old workplace cafeteria rivaled the sight of that grill, burgers frying up in their own greases over a hot grill. I began to wonder if the best burger in Dallas was to be had at Twisted Root…

…and then the my oreo shake arrived. And for a few short moments, I was in heaven–and my worries of Twisted Root’s signature deliverables diminished while I imbibed the thick, creamy delicious Oreo shake (one size only). The fiance was similarly smitten by his Hershey chocolate shake…but I was convinced mine was the better drink.

By the time we were inhaling the bottoms of our plastic cups, our orders were ready and we drove home as fast as we could to consume our burgers.

I ordered the classic swiss-mushroom burger. While I was happy to see the vegetables on the side, I was less enthusiastic about the packets of mayo and ketchup. Couldn’t they have used plastic cups to contain my condiments? Once you get your hands on a greasy burger, it’s pretty difficult tearing open that foil packet. But ultimately, the condiments did nothing for the burger…the classic swiss-mushroom burger turned out to be rather ordinary…and too well-done to even come close to the medium rare that I ordered.

The fiance’s burger, peppercorn ranch and bacon, turned out to be much more memorable than mine. I loved the sharp taste coupled with the saltiness of the bacon and the beefiness of the burger. All these elements combined like a “manly” man’s burger should taste like.

I will confess that the sweet potato chips and the onion strings did not travel well at all in their steamy cartons. Both sides ended up rather flat and soggy when consumed…though the potato chips hinted at snack-food greatness with every bite. I only wished that they might have been sweeter. The onion strings were too strongly flavored and drowned the onions inside them…not a pleasant experience when you’re expecting ONIONS in your onion straws.

For 30 bucks, I expected more from their burgers, but I came away merely satisfied. The shakes exceeded my expectations, but a burger joint should not be eclipsed by their drinks–nor the overweening attitudes of the owners, or the obsequious fans that come here to worship. Seriously, where’s the beef?

My rating: 3.0 stars
***

Jake’s Joint

701 W Parker Rd
Plano, TX 75023
(469) 229-0400

Walking into Jake’s, one gets the impression that this is a bar first (and a dive-ish one at that), a restaurant second. But our host seemed serious about the burgers they served here, so despite the blaring music (apparently not loud enough at 11:30am on a Sunday morning) and the ugly, torn booth seats we slid into, we explored their menu willingly and was pleased by its simplicity.

Both the fiance and I ordered their burger of the month, a blue-cheese double patty. I also took the liberty to order their sweet potato fries and their cheese fries (I had an affection for the infamous Snuffer’s variety, so I wondered if anybody could rival it). Sadly, the cheese fries failed to measure up, tasting oddly of processed cheese–which didn’t sit well with either of us. The sweet potato fries however were excellent…and I was thoroughly convinced that this was the best yam fries I’ve eaten this weekend.

The burgers came on a poppy seed bun…which I enjoyed despite picking out the poppies from my teeth hours later. Two thin patties didn’t allow for medium rare cooking, our host admitted, but nevertheless the burgers were just fine. I disliked the shredded lettuce as well…shouldn’t the perfect burger be cradled in a leaf? It was the sliced blue cheese that ended up overpowering the burger…and as much as I loved bleu, even I had to admit that the taste had conquered any notions of dessert afterwards. Still, I allowed that Jake’s made as fine a burger as Twisted Root–and I was more than content in not having to fight the media-inspired frenzy that flocked there.

With Jake’s being the closer drive, I’ll be more than happy to revisit it and try something else on their menu. Total damage amounted to the same as the tab at Twisted Root.

My rating: 3.5 stars
***1/2